Are you the best because you’re Olivia Lee, or are you Olivia Lee because you’re the best?
To answer the question, I am Olivia Lee because I am the best. Most of my work is about my life experiences and how they changed me as a person. My intent with my work isn’t to tell someone my life story and make it meaningful; it's to show how, despite all the unfortunate events in my life, I still come out on top. I’ve only been doing art for around three years, and I am legally blind. The main vein in the left side of my brain is thinner than that of normal people, so I experience chronic migraines. Yet even with what many would consider a disadvantage, I am extraordinary. PLEASE UNDERSTAND, I am not trying to compare myself with others or downplay anybody else’s accomplishments and skills.
I’ve always struggled with perfection. I can’t stand being average. If I am not automatically great at something, I just give up. This weakness plagues my existence as an “artist.” There is no “trust the process.” If I start a piece and the sketch doesn’t fit my standards, I quit and throw it in the trash. I have neglected all my pieces for periods of time due to my fear of messing them up. After focusing on a piece, I tend to stop and ignore it completely, since anything I do can mess it up, and I do not wish to play Russian roulette. After maybe around a week, I come back to the piece and finish it. Each piece feels like a Jigsaw trap with how much fear and pain I experience from it. Telling myself I am the best and receiving recognition for my skills is the only thing keeping me from quitting art indefinitely. I know I am good; that isn’t a statement to be questioned. But the sheer concept of not being good enough is something I can’t ever deal with, and which is why I am so cocky about myself and constantly tell myself and everyone else that I am the best.
I mainly use color pencils and acrylic paints in my work. I use colored pencils because they really emphasize the small details and the effort required to create artwork. It is tedious and annoying to use, and that feeling is vital to my process. It’s clear that I am cocky when it comes to art, so having to use a medium that tests my patience and humbles me even the slightest bit is necessary for my humanity. I also use acrylic paint, but only because I am allergic to oil paint. Acrylic paint does provide a challenge. Since acrylic paint tends to dry quickly, I have to work fast when painting. The small challenge of having to work quickly helps me feel I am doing something great and hard. The use of bunnies in my works symbolizes the misconceptions people have about me. Bunnies are often considered innocent and naive, but in reality, they tend to eat their offspring and are more terrifying than people want to acknowledge. People often think I’m being sarcastic and trying to be funny, but in reality, I’m just being honest.
